Re: Teaching HIV Awareness

In response to your first question:

We are all aware that prevention is better than cure. This is even more important when we talk of infections like HIV/AIDS, for which there is yet no cure. We can look at prevention in various ways. Abstinence and faithfulness to one partner is definitely the most important lesson that all of us need to learn as well as propagate. However, it is also important to realize that there might be some of our peers who need to be informed and made aware of other methods of prevention like the use of condoms. For teenagers who are sexually active at a younger age it is important to be aware of condoms as a method of preventing themselves as well as their partner/s from sexually transmitted infections.

In response to your second question:

It is important to realize that there should be some level of rapport with rural communities before we can bring up issues related to STI/HIV/AIDS. It is possible that people would take this as an offence to their integrity and character if we do not have a proper background to Sexual Health awareness. For this, general health issues like children’s health, hygiene, women’s reproductive health, nutrition etc should be taken as the initial topics of discussion with rural communities. Also, the residents should be approached through a healthcare provider from within the community like a village dai, anganwadi worker, ASHA worker or village health worker.

In response to your third question:

While interacting with rural communities to spread awareness, we should keep in mind their comfort with various media. Visual media like films, pictures, posters, street theatre will prove more effective with them. Also, training some educated village youth with help from respective village panchayats would form a formal interactive forum which can spread awareness among the rural communities through community meetings from time to time.

Re: Western Influence

As the world becomes more globalize, our youth have growing access to a wide variety of information. Most of this information, when used correctly can have a positive influence on a youth’s education, career development and personal growth. However, it is also true that access to Western media can encourage youth to become more experimental. It is important to recognize the changes that have occurred in the attitudes and exposure of today’s youth in order to be sensitize to these changes with education the youth about risky behaviors and habits. It can be helpful to remind your students that the lifestyles that they read about in magazines or see on Western movies are not realistic or healthy examples to follow. Frank and open discussions with youth about the risks that arise from being experimental sexually or with drugs and alcohol can help them feel less confused and more confident to make healthy choices. This sort of discussion will encourage youth to be discerning in their exposure to Western media and will help them to be aware of both the pros and the cons that come with the modern information age.

Re: Having Sex

The decision to have sex is a very difficult one, it is also very personal. There are many things to consider including: your values and goals, your feelings about physical and emotional risks of sexual activity, how clear you can be with your partner, what you want out of the relationship and whether or not you are prepared to protect your self and have sex safely.

The bottom line is that if you are not ready to have sex, do not do it. You do not need any reason not to have sex if you don’t feel that you are ready yet. Wait until you are comfortable with the decision to become sexually active.

Re: Types of Sex

There are three primary types of intercourse: anal, oral and vaginal. Anal intercourse involves penetration or oral stimulation of the anus, and participants can be involved in receiving and/or giving. Oral sex involves the stimulation of the sex organs with the mouth. Vaginal intercourse involves penetration of the vagina. There is not one type of sex that is safer than the others, and proper protection should be used during any type of sexual intercourse.

Re: Avoiding Pregnancy

Of course, the best way to avoid unwanted pregnancy is to abstain from sexual intercourse. However, if you are sexually active, there are a many options for reliable contraceptives. Not all contraceptives are effective to protect against both pregnancy and STIs. Hormonal contraceptives, IUDs, diaphragms and emergency contraceptives will not protect against STI transmission, although they are generally effective at preventing pregnancy. Condoms (both female and male) are the only contraceptive method that will protect against both STI transmission and pregnancy. The pulling-out or withdrawal method is not a reliable method of birth control or STI protection. 

Re: Masturbation

Masturbation is the stimulation of one’s own sex organ for pleasure, usually with the hands. Masturbation is perfectly safe and natural for both men and women. Masturbation can be a safe alternative to unprotected intercourse or abstinence.

Re: Orgasms

Orgasm is the peak of sexual arousal when all the muscles that have tightened during sex relax. During orgasm, painkilling chemicals called endorphins are released into the bloodstream, causing intense pleasure. You may feel flushed or warm, you may experience muscle spasms all over your body. A guy’s orgasm is usually accompanied by the release of ejaculatory fluid, and about 10 percent of women also ejaculate during orgasm.

Re: Homosexuality

Having fantasies or attractions to the same sex does not necessarily mean that you are gay. Sexual orientation –being gay, straight, lesbian or bi-sexual—is all about attraction and it is all natural. Scientists are still not exactly sure what determines sexual orientation. However, it has been discovered that biological factors that are in place before birth help decide sexual orientation. It can take years to figure out our own sexual orientation, and many people question it for years. You are the only one who can determine these things. Just know that these questions are more common than you think.

Re: Fighting

Every good relationship is built on respect, trust, honesty, fairness, equality and good communication. Harsh, mean words are a form of emotional abuse. You should never feel pressured to do, say or feel anything that you don’t want to. If you are concerned about your relationship, talk to your significant other, your family, friends or a medical professional.

Re: Dating advice

Girls are the basis of many of the thoughts guys have around this age. Big girls, small girls, short girls, tall girls, shy girls, perky girls, girls with short hair, girls with long hair, blue-eyed girls, brown-eyed girls, blonde girls, brunettes: we love them all, right?

You might have even gone out with a couple (Way to go!)

But here’s some helpful advice about females, somewhere near 50% of the world’s population and close to 100% of a guy’s thoughts.

Part 1: Pinpointing the Girl

One should never seem eager to “get a girlfriend.” In fact, if your purpose is solely to do this, you have no chance of having a successful relationship. None whatsoever. You shouldn’t have an “objective” when it comes to girls. Liking someone should and will come naturally when you spend time with a girl who you are compatible with.

One thing to be sure to do, however, is to make sure that you really like a girl before you go on a date with her. To quote SRK in the all-time great movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, “Pyaar hai dosti. Love is friendship.” True. You can never spend time with someone who you are not friendly with or can’t relate to. So before you think about asking her out, spend some time with her. Get to know her. Don’t rush.

How?

Do things in a group. It can seem much less awkward than trying to spend time with her alone. Movies with groups and parties are always great ways to go!

Part 2: Asking her Out

There are three basic things to remember when asking her out:

1)      Confidence

2)      Alone

3)      Line

1)      Confidence

The first and foremost thing to remember is confidence. A girl will not date you if you act extremely under confident and struggle to get your words out. Well, maybe she will (if you’re strong and handsome). But there is a greater chance if you ask her out with relative confidence. But don’t go overboard. You don’t want to make it seem as though you know she will go out with you. Because then she won’t. Don’t beg. Don’t demand. Ask. (The decision is hers)

2)      Alone

Do you ask her out when you are alone in a completely secluded area? Or do you ask her out in school, while her friends are right next to her? The answer: neither. Both are bad choices. The first might seem like a dangerous situation to her and she may be frightened. It also may be awkward because (remember!) you should still be “just friends” (at most) up to this point. The second option puts pressure on you and her. You may become distracted and stutter or mess up what you are trying to say. She faces pressure from her friends around her. The best idea: ask her in a place where there are people around, but go off to talk together alone. For example, the school is still a good idea, but ask her when she has no friends around her.

3)      Line

Don’t try to come up with corny lines by yourself. No. No. No. The best option is a simple, direct line, with a bit of flattery thrown in. “Will you go out with me?” is always a direct approach, and adding a few adjectives like “nice, funny, and really pretty (or beautiful)” can never hurt. Other good lines include “Do you want to go see [insert name of romantic movie here] with me?” or “I really like you, and was wondering if you wanted to do something this Friday?” Direct. To the point. Successful (mostly)

Other quick tips (for when you ask her out):

·         Dress up nicely, but not formally. You should look like you would if you were going on a date right then.

·         Breath check: asking her out after eating an onion and garlic pizza might offend her. Just a bit. Have a mint or something – please.

·         Don’t tell other people that you are going to ask her out. Ever. Although you may think that your friends are reliable, if you tell one person, he/she may tell someone else in confidence, and so on – until she may find out about it. If that happens, she may make her decision before you ask her (and get a chance to show off your charm)

Part 3: First Date

You have asked out the girl.

She has said yes (supposedly).

You are ready to go out with her…you think…

Really?

Well – where are you going to take her?

When?

What will you do?

Got all the answers? I didn’t think so.

Movies are usually the locations for many dates, but are typically not the best idea for a first date, because you don’t spend any time talking during a movie, but conversation is extremely important initially in a relationship. So, save movie until you are a bit closer.

In my opinion, a trip to the mall (Select Citywalk) and just hanging out there is usually a great idea, and you can just walk through, pop into stores, grab a bite, (ice-cream) and just talk. Get to know each other a bit better. Other options are a quick dinner (Nirula’s) – inexpensive and quality time. Nothing better! **As long as you’re there, pick up a hot chocolate fudge (triple scoop) and share it. It is pretty romantic and tastes amazing!!!

Something else you may want to consider is letting her choose what to do. This, however, can backfire, because she could be very indecisive or may choose to do something you really don’t want to do. So, let her choose, but be honest. If she just can’t decide, make a couple of “suggestions.” If she chooses something you don’t want to do, just tell her! If you don’t, you may end up doing the same thing for all of your dates. Lots of fun.

Now, what do you want to do to prepare for your date? Dress up nicely, but (once again) not formally. Brush your teeth, take a bath, and brush your hair (unless – miraculously – it looks amazing without being brushed). And, quick tip: put some mints in your pocket, especially if you are going out for dinner/a meal. Shave if it looks untidy. Cut your nails if they’re sharp. And calm down. First dates can be tough and/or scary, but appearing as though you are calm, cool, and collected gives the right image to the girl.

Part 4: Getting Intimate

You kiss.

You snuggle.

You’ve been going out for many months now.

What’s next?

When relationships begin to get involved and last a long time, one or both partners may feel that it’s time to take it to “the next level.” What is the next level? Well, that’s for every couple to decide, but for most, it means getting intimate with one another.

Which can be a good thing…or a bad thing.

Things to Consider:

1)      The first thing you should consider is your age. Do you feel old enough and responsible enough to safely have sex? Is it even legal for you to have sex? Is your partner old enough to have sex? Well, technically, the legal “age of consent” in is age 16 except in Manipur, where it is 14. It’s one year lower for all married couples (13 in Manipur and 15 everywhere else)

2)      The second thing to consider is whether you want to. Is it really you who wants to have sex, or is it only your partner (or maybe it’s the other way around: in that case, don’t pressure him/her into having sex). Maybe you’re not ready for it, or maybe you’re giving in because of peer pressure. Take a step back and think before you act.

3)      The third thing to take into account is how much you know. Do you know enough about the safety precautions to take? Have you been tested for STI’s? Has your partner? Do you have a condom and know how to use it?

4)      Finally: If you looked back on this moment (for example) when you are 30, would you be happy with the conditions under which you had sex (pressure, drugs, drinking, etc.)? If the answer is anything other than “yes,” don’t have sex. Just. Don’t. Do. It. You obviously need to wait for a better time.

Before you decide that you are ready to have sex, consider the dangers:

·         She might get pregnant. It might be hard to deal with school and college if you’ve got a baby to take care of, wouldn’t it?

·         You might have an STI (sexually transmitted infection), which is not something you want to give or she wants to receive.

·         She might have an STI, even HIV/AIDS. (Once again, not something you want to get or she wants to give).

·         You could get into legal trouble. The act must be consensual (both people agree to it). Also, if either one of you is under the age of consent, the other one can be charged with statutory rape (even if it is consensual) – which could land the other into serious and probably unwanted legal trouble.

So, as long as you’re above the age of consent and you’ve read through these points (and paid attention to them), you should be fine. Remember: everyone is nervous the first few times that they have sex. It’s natural. And 50 Rupees says that your partner will be nervous, as well. So, just relax.

Re: HIV Testing

We understand that this is a difficult conversation to have. However, it is a very important topic to broach with your significant other. Here are a few tips to help get the conversation going:

-Offer to be tested too

-Practice the discussion

-Start the conversation when you both have time and are in a private place

-Remember that your partner cannot read your thoughts. Be honest and clear. Admit that you are nervous if you are, sincerity is best.

Re: Abuse

You do not deserve to be hurt. No one does. Relationships should make us feel safe, loved and happy. An unhealthy relationship makes us feel threatened, and fearful. People can be abused physically, emotionally, verbally and sexually. This means that although many people are abused physically, you can also be abused with words and emotions as well. You are not alone. There are many support groups available to help. Talk to your family, friends or a medical professional for advice.

Re: Puberty

For girls, puberty usually starts between the ages of 8-13 although everyone is different, so you may start earlier or later than this. Puberty is the time when your body begins to develop and change and during this time, your body will grow more than any other except when you are an infant.

Re: Period

A period is vaginal bleeding caused by the shedding of the lining of the uterus. Usually two-two and a half years after girls’ breasts begin to develop, girls will start their periods. Periods usually last 5-7 days.

About 6 months to a year before a girl starts her period, her body may start to produce vaginal discharge. This white, mucus-like discharge is caused by changing hormone levels in the body. Normal discharge should have only a slight odor and should never cause itching or burning. Strong odors or darker colors (brown, grey or green) in the discharge can indicate a vaginal infection and a medical professional should be consulted.

Re: Changes

Girls’ bodies become curvier and differently shaped during puberty. Girls gain weight on their hips and breasts, and often experience soreness under the nipples as their breasts grow. Often times, the breast will develop at different rates, but they usually even out. Over-all weight gain during puberty is normal and is to be expected. Dieting during puberty can have long-term impacts on a girl’s health and is not recommended.

Re: Normal

There is no “normal”. Everyone is different and their bodies change at different times, in different ways. Puberty is a time of many changes for your body. During puberty, your body will grow faster than any other time in your life except infancy. Puberty happens in many different stages.

Re: Erections

An erection happens when a guy is aroused sexually, the tissue in his penis relaxes. This allows blood to flow in more freely and the penis hardens.  Spontaneous erections happen often during puberty because your body is going through so many changes. Nocturnal emissions are when the penis becomes erect with a guy is sleeping and he ejaculates. Don’t worry these wet dreams become less common as puberty progresses and they will eventually stop.

Re: Body Changes

Hair growth is one of the first signs of puberty. This hair growing under arms and on genital areas starts out light and sparse and will eventually get thicker and darker. Men will eventually begin to grow hair on their faces as well.

Acne is triggered by puberty hormones, and can continue after puberty into adolescence Acne and pimples are common on the face, upper back and the upper arms. It is helpful to keep you skin clean in order to prevent acne, and a doctor or medical professional will be able to recommend good methods for preventing breakouts.

Body odor is also a result of puberty hormones. Everyone develops body odor during puberty, and while it is natural, there are ways to keep the smell in-check. Taking showers and wearing deodorant everyday will help keep you smelling nice and clean!

Re: Emotions

Just as hormones change your body physically, they will also change you emotionally. You may feel more sensitive than usual, and often times teenagers feel unusually angry and their friends and family. Your new adult hormones are signals to your body; you now have adult responsibilities and adult abilities. You will begin to feel sexual and it is important to get all your questions answered. Many teens can talk to their friends and families about what they are feeling and what they are going through. If you do not feel comfortable doing this, any medical professional will be happy to talk with you and answer any questions you might have.

Re: STIs

STI stands for sexually transmitted infection. There are many kinds of STIs, including HIV, Chlamydia, gonorrhea and herpes.

Re: Spreading STIs

STIs are spread through sexual contact with an infected person. They can be spread from one person to another through blood, semen, vaginal secretions and skin-to-skin contact with an infected person’s genital area or mouth.

Re: STIs vs STDs

STI stands for sexually transmitted infection while STD stands for sexually transmitted disease. Most people use these terms interchangeably. However, an STD is an STI that has developed symptoms. Most STIs are passed from one person to another before symptoms develop.

Re: Signs and Symptoms

Most people infected with STIs do not show any symptoms at all. However, there are common signs and symptoms that you should look out for: abnormal discharge from the vagina/penis, burning, itching or pain during sex and or urination, sores, warts or rashes, abnormal bleeding and sore throat or cold sores after oral sex. Remember that only a certified medical professional can diagnose an STI or STD.

Re: What if I have an STI?

If you are concerned that you may have been infected with an STI, be sure to consult a medical professional to be tested and treated.

Re: Preventing STIs

The only way to guarantee that you will not become infected with an STI is to abstain from sexual activity. If you are having sex, you significantly reduce your chances of becoming infected by using a condom every time you have intercourse (oral, vaginal or anal). Open communication between sexual partners is also very effective in preventing the spread of STIs; do not assume that your partner does not have an STI. Remember, most infections do not show any symptoms. Get tested to be sure! The fewer sexual partners you have, the less risk you run of becoming infected.