Girls are the basis of many of the thoughts guys have around this age. Big girls, small girls, short girls, tall girls, shy girls, perky girls, girls with short hair, girls with long hair, blue-eyed girls, brown-eyed girls, blonde girls, brunettes: we love them all, right?

You might have even gone out with a couple (Way to go!)

But here’s some helpful advice about females, somewhere near 50% of the world’s population and close to 100% of a guy’s thoughts.

Part 1: Pinpointing the Girl

One should never seem eager to “get a girlfriend.” In fact, if your purpose is solely to do this, you have no chance of having a successful relationship. None whatsoever. You shouldn’t have an “objective” when it comes to girls. Liking someone should and will come naturally when you spend time with a girl who you are compatible with.

One thing to be sure to do, however, is to make sure that you really like a girl before you go on a date with her. To quote SRK in the all-time great movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, “Pyaar hai dosti. Love is friendship.” True. You can never spend time with someone who you are not friendly with or can’t relate to. So before you think about asking her out, spend some time with her. Get to know her. Don’t rush.

How?

Do things in a group. It can seem much less awkward than trying to spend time with her alone. Movies with groups and parties are always great ways to go!

Part 2: Asking her Out

There are three basic things to remember when asking her out:

1)      Confidence

2)      Alone

3)      Line

1)      Confidence

The first and foremost thing to remember is confidence. A girl will not date you if you act extremely under confident and struggle to get your words out. Well, maybe she will (if you’re strong and handsome). But there is a greater chance if you ask her out with relative confidence. But don’t go overboard. You don’t want to make it seem as though you know she will go out with you. Because then she won’t. Don’t beg. Don’t demand. Ask. (The decision is hers)

2)      Alone

Do you ask her out when you are alone in a completely secluded area? Or do you ask her out in school, while her friends are right next to her? The answer: neither. Both are bad choices. The first might seem like a dangerous situation to her and she may be frightened. It also may be awkward because (remember!) you should still be “just friends” (at most) up to this point. The second option puts pressure on you and her. You may become distracted and stutter or mess up what you are trying to say. She faces pressure from her friends around her. The best idea: ask her in a place where there are people around, but go off to talk together alone. For example, the school is still a good idea, but ask her when she has no friends around her.

3)      Line

Don’t try to come up with corny lines by yourself. No. No. No. The best option is a simple, direct line, with a bit of flattery thrown in. “Will you go out with me?” is always a direct approach, and adding a few adjectives like “nice, funny, and really pretty (or beautiful)” can never hurt. Other good lines include “Do you want to go see [insert name of romantic movie here] with me?” or “I really like you, and was wondering if you wanted to do something this Friday?” Direct. To the point. Successful (mostly)

Other quick tips (for when you ask her out):

·         Dress up nicely, but not formally. You should look like you would if you were going on a date right then.

·         Breath check: asking her out after eating an onion and garlic pizza might offend her. Just a bit. Have a mint or something – please.

·         Don’t tell other people that you are going to ask her out. Ever. Although you may think that your friends are reliable, if you tell one person, he/she may tell someone else in confidence, and so on – until she may find out about it. If that happens, she may make her decision before you ask her (and get a chance to show off your charm)

Part 3: First Date

You have asked out the girl.

She has said yes (supposedly).

You are ready to go out with her…you think…

Really?

Well – where are you going to take her?

When?

What will you do?

Got all the answers? I didn’t think so.

Movies are usually the locations for many dates, but are typically not the best idea for a first date, because you don’t spend any time talking during a movie, but conversation is extremely important initially in a relationship. So, save movie until you are a bit closer.

In my opinion, a trip to the mall (Select Citywalk) and just hanging out there is usually a great idea, and you can just walk through, pop into stores, grab a bite, (ice-cream) and just talk. Get to know each other a bit better. Other options are a quick dinner (Nirula’s) – inexpensive and quality time. Nothing better! **As long as you’re there, pick up a hot chocolate fudge (triple scoop) and share it. It is pretty romantic and tastes amazing!!!

Something else you may want to consider is letting her choose what to do. This, however, can backfire, because she could be very indecisive or may choose to do something you really don’t want to do. So, let her choose, but be honest. If she just can’t decide, make a couple of “suggestions.” If she chooses something you don’t want to do, just tell her! If you don’t, you may end up doing the same thing for all of your dates. Lots of fun.

Now, what do you want to do to prepare for your date? Dress up nicely, but (once again) not formally. Brush your teeth, take a bath, and brush your hair (unless – miraculously – it looks amazing without being brushed). And, quick tip: put some mints in your pocket, especially if you are going out for dinner/a meal. Shave if it looks untidy. Cut your nails if they’re sharp. And calm down. First dates can be tough and/or scary, but appearing as though you are calm, cool, and collected gives the right image to the girl.

Part 4: Getting Intimate

You kiss.

You snuggle.

You’ve been going out for many months now.

What’s next?

When relationships begin to get involved and last a long time, one or both partners may feel that it’s time to take it to “the next level.” What is the next level? Well, that’s for every couple to decide, but for most, it means getting intimate with one another.

Which can be a good thing…or a bad thing.

Things to Consider:

1)      The first thing you should consider is your age. Do you feel old enough and responsible enough to safely have sex? Is it even legal for you to have sex? Is your partner old enough to have sex? Well, technically, the legal “age of consent” in is age 16 except in Manipur, where it is 14. It’s one year lower for all married couples (13 in Manipur and 15 everywhere else)

2)      The second thing to consider is whether you want to. Is it really you who wants to have sex, or is it only your partner (or maybe it’s the other way around: in that case, don’t pressure him/her into having sex). Maybe you’re not ready for it, or maybe you’re giving in because of peer pressure. Take a step back and think before you act.

3)      The third thing to take into account is how much you know. Do you know enough about the safety precautions to take? Have you been tested for STI’s? Has your partner? Do you have a condom and know how to use it?

4)      Finally: If you looked back on this moment (for example) when you are 30, would you be happy with the conditions under which you had sex (pressure, drugs, drinking, etc.)? If the answer is anything other than “yes,” don’t have sex. Just. Don’t. Do. It. You obviously need to wait for a better time.

Before you decide that you are ready to have sex, consider the dangers:

·         She might get pregnant. It might be hard to deal with school and college if you’ve got a baby to take care of, wouldn’t it?

·         You might have an STI (sexually transmitted infection), which is not something you want to give or she wants to receive.

·         She might have an STI, even HIV/AIDS. (Once again, not something you want to get or she wants to give).

·         You could get into legal trouble. The act must be consensual (both people agree to it). Also, if either one of you is under the age of consent, the other one can be charged with statutory rape (even if it is consensual) – which could land the other into serious and probably unwanted legal trouble.

So, as long as you’re above the age of consent and you’ve read through these points (and paid attention to them), you should be fine. Remember: everyone is nervous the first few times that they have sex. It’s natural. And 50 Rupees says that your partner will be nervous, as well. So, just relax.